Going into The Wrong Missy, I thought I would hate it. And I did! The Wrong Missy, how do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways…
First of all, there’s the plot. Regular Dude™ Tim (David Spade) goes on a blind date with Missy (Lauren Lapkus), possibly the worst person who has ever existed in the history of the world. Within approximately three seconds he realises it’s a bad idea and tries to escape the date. Also within approximately three seconds I realised this movie was a bad idea and I wanted to escape.
Unlike me, Tim, was able to escape his demons (at least for the time being) and after the blind date he meets someone he actually would like to spend more time with: Melissa, played by literal goddess Molly Sims.
Of course, she is perfect. They read the same books. They both don’t drink. They both hate VR Phil Collins’ concerts (to be honest, who wouldn’t?) And, most importantly for the movie, they are both single. Just one short scene later and they are hooking up in a supply closet (has anyone ever done this in real life? Or is it just a movie thing? How did they even get in there – wouldn’t it be locked?) Unfortunately, Melissa has to leave on a flight. Tim gets her number but unfortunately sends a romantic message to… uh oh… The Wrong Missy! And so the plot is set in motion.
Tim’s friend convinces him to invite Melissa (the “wrong” one, who Tim is still texting with) on his company’s corporate retreat to Hawaii. From then on, anyone who has ever seen at least one movie in their lives knows what is going to happen. Guess who shows up on the plane to Hawaii claiming they’ve found not only their soulmate, but their “saviour”?
The second issue with The Wrong Missy is the acting. As previously mentioned, David Spade plays Tim. Whilst I get that Tim is supposed to be the ‘straight man’ (as in, the ‘conventional’ character in a comedy, supposed to contrast with the ‘wild’ character), but Tim is honestly just incredibly boring and quite unlikable. At one point in the movie Tim takes dog tranquillisers and I feel like Spade must have taken some himself because he kind of just sleepwalks through the movie.
Speaking of unlikable characters, Tim’s friend, Nate (Nick Swardson), is [Jean-Ralphio voice] The. Worst. I get that every comedy movie like this is supposed to have the ‘Kind of An Asshole Annoying Best Friend’ character, but this guy really takes it to the limit. The main running gag with his character is that he’s constantly hacking into Tim’s phone and reading his messages. That’s just… not funny. Why would you continue to hang out with someone who did that to you, no matter how lonely you are?
Lauren Lapkus is the aforementioned “Wrong Missy”. Look, I’m not one to skip out on credit where credit is due. She has a role to play, and she does it quite well. The best way to describe her character is kind of like Gina Linetti from Brooklyn Nine-Nine with the wildness of her personality amped up on steroids. It exhausted me within five minutes of Wrong Missy arriving on screen, but I have to admit that by the end of the movie her frenetic craziness had thawed my ice heart by at least one degree.
Of course, because this is a Happy Madison movie, at least one more of Adam Sandler’s buddies needs to be in the movie. I was expecting a cameo from the Sand-Man himself, but I suppose he must have been busy that day. Instead we get Rob Schneider, playing a role that I can’t describe in any other way than Peak Rob Schneider.
Lastly, I must direct my bitter barbs at the jokes, as this is a comedy after all. Most of the humour in The Wrong Missy is completely obnoxious. There are a heap of sex jokes and there are a heap of slapstick jokes. There is also a heap of Rob Schneider trying to make his “schtick” work (in the infamous and ever-relevant words of Gretchen Wieners: “Stop trying to make Rob Schnieder jokes happen. They’re not going to happen!”) Throughout the course of the movie I laughed approximately 0.3 times. My boyfriend, who was watching it with me as I was writing this review, laughed at least 5 times. I asked him why and he said, and I quote, “I’m easily entertained.” Well, make of that statement what you will. Alright, look, I will concede to one positive point (like I said before, I have to give credit where credit is due). I did say I laughed 0.3 times. And that 0.3 times was for a pretty funny recurring gag between Tim’s boss Jack Winstone (Geoff Pierson) and his long-suffering assistant Stuart (Jarad Sandler) involving drinks. I’ll admit, I may have even guffawed at one of the exchanges between these characters.
In summary, I’m not here to yuck your yum, alright? There is absolutely nothing wrong with liking this kind of movie. It’s mindless fun, and we all need a bit of that, especially in these trying times. There are a whole bunch of movies that most people consider “bad” that I enjoy for this very reason – although none of them are this movie, of course.
So, should you see The Wrong Missy? Well, it’s on Netflix, so it’s pretty much free, right? If it were a movie released in an actual cinema where you had to pay actual money to only see the movie but for things like transport costs and snacks, no way. Save those hard-earned dollars for something much more worth-while (like a real-life trip to Hawaii). But seeing as you’ve already paid for the Netflix subscription, you don’t need to travel further than your own couch and you’ve probably got at least a few tasty things to eat in your pantry already, you might as well. There are no doubt worse things on Netflix. For instance, other Happy Madison movies…
BEST BITS:
– Missy telling David Spade what we’re all thinking: “What are you, sixty-five?”
– Sarah Chalke being in the movie because she can do no wrong.
– The recurring drink gag between Winstone and Stuart. I may have even chortled!
– Everything Molly Sims wears in this trainwreck of a film is something I wish I had in my own wardrobe.
WORST BITS:
– Pretty much every single other thing about the movie. Especially the shark cage scene. I will never forget it, as much as I desperately want to.
FINAL RATING: 4/10.
